Wrinkles Gifts

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"How long were you in that headstand?"

Wedding Chefs

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

"Let's change things up a bit. Give me the crinkle cut."

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

Botox sharpei

'Well, your wife is now a den mother! You have triplets!'

I'm calling for back-up

'No, it's not a special on the Grand Canyon. It's an actor's face in high definition.'

And make sure my daughter is back by 10pm: You really don't want to see me angry!

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

"Why so sad, Pal?"

"I can't believe I just paid that guy 160 bucks to tell me 'happy wife, happy life'."

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

'Too much Botox, Mavis.'

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

How Tattoos Age

"Of course I'm young at heart...I had one of my wrinkles pierced, didn't I?"

"The gentleman opposite would like to buy you more time."

"Well it's not the BEST facelift but what can you expect for $25."

'Hop up on the table and I'll have those wrinkles gone before you know it.'

'Oh, no, I'd never have kids. I couldn't deal with the stretch marks!'

'Well if they are 'laugh lines', you've got an awful lot for such a misery guts!'

"In the last few months, Matthew has gone on twenty-four-hour alert for signs of aging."

'Mrs. Sandler, I'm sorry we were late! No! Not that, Mrs. Sandler! Ahh! No, please! I beg of you!...'

"Aging disgracefully is much more fun."

The Hazards of Dog Leashes

Man has chains on him, along with his pet dog and a fire plug.

'I want to look ten years younger.'