Embracer Of Wrinkles Gifts

"Aging disgracefully is much more fun."

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'I blame global warming!'

Ultra-lazy sloth

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

After many years of wavering Dennis finally makes the decision to step out of his comfort zone.

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

Congratulations!

'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'

The shape of things to come

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

Anxiety of Change

Development of disgusting new flaws. Loving acceptance of your flaws.

'Going bald isn't all bad - just think, you'll never have dandruff again!'

'Of course things change: our fathers were replaced by machines - we'll be replaced with new software.'

'Oh, Harold...How can I face our family and friends knowing you're a crossdresser?!'

"Teacher believes in performance-enhancing hugs."

"Keep it long at the back and big and bushy on top please."

Salman Rushdie

'All of a sudden all they care about is boys...and make-up.'

"Over here, Phyllis. I've moved to the center."

Feel good loser. NON WINNER

'Congratulations, your days of avoiding the real world are finally over.'

'I've been having one long, continuous bad hair day for the past 25 years.'

"You look amazing for someone who's just woken up!"

'The truly enlightened don't NEED comb-overs!'

Male grooming.

The Artist

"Does my bump look big in this"

'I told Fred if he wants to feel the wind rushing through his hair he'd better unbutton his shirt.'

"Make it sassy, Jim."

Turning my life around.

"Oh, I stopped wearing one. At my age there's no point in trying to fool Mother Nature."

"Ouch! I still can't get the hang of this new technology!"