Wrinkle Chic Gifts

Wrinkled pants/wrinkled dog

Scientists are sexy

Hats and Food

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

They will too notice.

'Wow - My kind of man.'

'You've taken that handlebar mustache too far.'

"Let's change things up a bit. Give me the crinkle cut."

Botox sharpei

'No, it's not a special on the Grand Canyon. It's an actor's face in high definition.'

I'm calling for back-up

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

"Great coaching is about emphasising the positive...."

"To prove I'm human, I check the box. It still won't let me in."

I have to wear these because I saw my eye doctor this morning. What's your excuse? Excuse? I've got the best excuse in the world: I dig Roy Orbison!

"Why so sad, Pal?"

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

"We're from the 'Times' Style-section rescue squad."

If clothes make the man make sure yours don't make you into a twat.

Cockroach Costume

'Too much Botox, Mavis.'

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

How Tattoos Age

"I'd like to report some bad guys."

One size fits all

Could you make me look a little bit more 'cowy'?

"The gentleman opposite would like to buy you more time."