World War Gifts

Benito Mussolini

Delayed Action Bomb Machine

'They may have been repulsive, sadistic, mass-murdering personifications of evil, but they wore a nice uniform.'

Neville Chamberlain

Sir Winston Churchill

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

Harry S. Truman

Most valuable element.

"It's going over the top? D' you realise what you've just said?"

"Now there's a weapon of mass destruction."

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

"Tractors, Sir - thousands of 'em!"

Kidnapping Lord Haw-Haw

Golfers forming the raising the flag on Iwo Jima.

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

"By George, that should do it - as long as we don[t bomb our own men again "

John McCain, pre-RIP

Don't Worry, Joe, about Afghanistan

Aberdeen Smoking the Pipe of Peace - Aberdeen and France at War with Russia

Shouting Fire in a Crowded Theater

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

'The Luftwaffe is unable to bomb London, mein Fuhrer. The east coast of England is littered with wind turbines!'

Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Let's face facts: You're not as young as you used to be. Too much caffeine can literally kill you. Poppycock! Do you know who you're talking to? When we stormed across Europe under Patton, my tank battalion got stuck in the mud during a torrential downpour. Arty Lang switched my canteen full of rainwater with one full of tank gas. So I replaced his tank's timing belt with tree bark and dental floss. That big galoot and I were always pranking each other lik

'No. No. Don't bomb them now. Wait until morning, when the birds are singing and the air is alive with a sense of possibility.'

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

01/08/45

"Ok, boy, one more time, then I'd better get this thing back to the battlefield."

'Committee of Public Assistance' Meeting in Occupied Holland (Propaganda Print)

'I found it on Craig's List.'

Crime and Punishment: c.f., Bradley Manning

He Duplicated T-Shirts; We Litigated

'For the last time, it's, LUFTWAFFE!'