World Religions Gifts

Happy Whatever

"The best part about the holidays is all the holidays."

"But 'Tibetan Sky Burial' sounded so cool."

Tolerant

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"We only got six days of funding."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Moses separating his Laundry.

Moses on the web

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."