World Record Aspirants Pillows

First Upright Piano Pulled to the South Pole.

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

"Another world record - it must be faster water."

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'Doug is determined to make it into the U.S. bobsled team for the 2014 Olympics.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

I think the speed grazing record is in the bag!

'...And to faithfully execute the duties of Emperor of the United States of Newt...'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

Origins of the 'Beard Of Bees'.

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

Guess what he is in the guinness book of records.

"My ship didn't sink. I swam here from New Jersey to get into The Guinness Book of World Records."

"Call me if it gets any bigger"

'Jumping over the moon wasn't enough for Bessie! Oooh, no...she had to go for a world record and try for Mars!'

'You can be President when you grow up. I'm going to make a lot of money playing shortstop for the Yankees.'

"Working an 80 hour week never did me any harm!"

I can't decide if you make me want to be a better man, a better lawyer or a better liar. ! !

'I wanna be a hockey goalkeeper.'

Competitions.

OWZAT...The beer-mat-flipping champion sets a new world record!

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

"Winning isn't the only thing, Junior. It's how much money you can get in a pro contract."

"Ugh . . . nevermind."

'Hello, Guinness Book of Records, what's the longest recorded sulk?'

"With symptoms like yours, you could be the next Batman!"