Workshop Wonder Gifts

"So what really motivates your colleagues?"

Claus 2.0

'It was only a five minute job. Not worth changing out of his best clothes for'

'We've listened to staff concerns about the need for more training.'

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'

'Workshop must-haves: a rubber drill.'

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

At the Codependents' Garage

'Eddie, thanks for being so understanding about our break-up. So whatcha doin' there? A little product testing?'

'Leonardo's Lament' - 'I have nothing to do.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"We only got six days of funding."

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

"Lovely dovetail."

Belief and Trust.

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

'Come on, come on, let's work together!'

Brainstorm in progress.

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

Waiting for retirement.

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Targets.

"I don't know whether your tired, anxious, nervous, or whatever. But it looks like a clear case of performance anxiety."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

Whittler's Mother.

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!