Workshop Wanderer Gifts

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

'See you next week, if I'm still in the job.'

"As I understand it, he has a whole other workshop in Hong Kong where they make all that electronic stuff."

Communication workshop. Sometime tonight in a room upstairs.

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

'I like to start by discussing potential million-pound bonuses...that always seems to get their full and undivided attention.'

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

Seminars for Sycophants

Plumber School. 1. Never bring the right tools. 2. Always go back to fetch them. 3. Suck your teeth.

"I think the leadership seminar might be in the conference room. Would anybody like to follow me?"

Carving a Sculpture.

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'Assembled in the North Pole ain't the same as Proudly made by Elves.'

'He went to a seminar on getting motivated so he could get out of doing any real work.'

"Oh, sorry. Wrong workshop."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"We only got six days of funding."

Claus 2.0

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Lovely dovetail."

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

Belief and Trust.

'Come on, come on, let's work together!'

Brainstorm in progress.

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

Free Range Employees.

Targets.

Waiting for retirement.

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"