Workshop Warrior Gifts

'Well - there's your problem. You can't upgrade the system without upgrading the staff.'

'Since we initiated regular staff development sessions, we've turned the school around 360 degrees.'

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

'Yes, I'm coaching this workshop. Come in, you stupid idiot!'

"Mr. Kennings was going to interview you for the job, until he heard you actually wanted to get paid."

'I take it the Change Seminar stripped you down to your vulnerabilities.'

Decisions: Yes or No, 'Or maybe?'

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

Dave had yet to master his new nail machine gun.

'So, in closing, let's all say with as much sincerity as we can, 'Oh, what a darling kitchen!''

Forward Planning - The key to Success

'Is this what you call training?'

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

Today's seminar is going to be so much fun...

"I'm sending a note home to your parent company."

"Welcome to the 'use more of your brain' seminar. For you first timers, those doors with 'Exit' over them are the exit doors."

"There are probably a lot of great bravery workshops out there."

"I scheduled you for a workshop on insurance forms followed by a workshop on stress."

'Who messed up my workbench?!'

Man with what appears to be cheese on head to other man: 'No, it's actually a sponge. I'm excited about today's motivational seminar and I want to soak it in.'

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

'I've got a teamwork seminar on the Third Hill. What are my coffee options?'

Bubba gets Carpal Funnel Syndrome.

Good Customer Service

"Jack, here, is the most fascinating man I've ever met—he's in alcohol-abuse counselling, he goes to a sexual-harassment support group, he's in a race-relations workshop, and he spends every weekend in prison."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."