Workplace Wonder Gifts

Door Warns - Don't Open!

After 20 years, at 25 West 43rd Street, between the 19th and 18th floors: "Hello, Mr. Koren," "Hello, Mr. Shawn."

"I don't know whether your tired, anxious, nervous, or whatever. But it looks like a clear case of performance anxiety."

STRIP Hambone: Boss doing what you said couldn't be done

"No, you may not help me organize the meeting."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

Businesswoman Empowerment

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

Claus 2.0

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

'These are job perks.'

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

National Boss Monument.

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'Yes, can I help you?'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

Torn-Off Mouse.

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'