Workplace Wonderer Gifts

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

Miss Jones, get me another eyebrow.

Man opening window.

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

'These are job perks.'

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

"It's no good - I just can't do this without a brief and a deadline."

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"I don't know whether your tired, anxious, nervous, or whatever. But it looks like a clear case of performance anxiety."

Free Range Employees.

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

New open space office design that promotes balance in the workplace.

You're a workaholic, Jan.

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

You are here.

Doctor to man: 'You're a workaholic - you tested positive for elbow grease.'

'Since we've remodeled, you are no longer here.'

'Relax, Wilson-I'm just off to the loo.'

If found, please return to cubicle L-325.

Start the session by doing something unusual.

Job hoppers.

"I'd like you to consider some of our exciting career opportunities working for anyone else but me."

"That must be the new 'sit-work' desk."

"It seems that your body is adjusting itself to the amount of multitasking you've been doing."

'Good news! The boss called me in - I'm one of his people.'

"What time is it mentally?"

'Your heart's not in the job - admit you're only doing it for the money!'

I got the raise

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

'Word has it that you have an ulcer, Tomkins. Nice going! You'll find an extra 20 bucks in your paycheck.'