Workplace Wonderer Pillows

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

Miss Jones, get me another eyebrow.

Man opening window.

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

'These are job perks.'

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

"I don't know whether your tired, anxious, nervous, or whatever. But it looks like a clear case of performance anxiety."

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

Free Range Employees.

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

You are here.

Doctor to man: 'You're a workaholic - you tested positive for elbow grease.'

'Relax, Wilson-I'm just off to the loo.'

'Since we've remodeled, you are no longer here.'

If found, please return to cubicle L-325.

Start the session by doing something unusual.

Job hoppers.

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

'Your heart's not in the job - admit you're only doing it for the money!'

"It seems that your body is adjusting itself to the amount of multitasking you've been doing."

I got the raise

"What time is it mentally?"

'Word has it that you have an ulcer, Tomkins. Nice going! You'll find an extra 20 bucks in your paycheck.'

"That must be the new 'sit-work' desk."

'Good news! The boss called me in - I'm one of his people.'

'Do you cater weddings?' Why the groom is never put in charge of anything.

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

If you want to spend more time with your family, fill out a job application like the rest of us!'