Workplace Wisdom Collector Gifts

'The good news is that the rest of your day will seem wonderful compared to this.'

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

"Effective leadership is more than just telling everybody to be like you!"

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

'I do good work... unfortunately, I don't do it here.'

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"Let me level with you. I am a lecherous, incompetent, alcoholic, overpaid, sexist senior executive. The company has put me in your way to test your countervailing potential."

"We're a family here and you'll be like a son to me - illegitimate, of course."

'Relax, Wilson-I'm just off to the loo.'

'I'm fired, am I -- What's that supposed to mean?'

Career advice from the boss

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

'Did you bring any money? - Enlightenment doesn't grow on trees, you know!'

'It's OK, we all make mistakes. The important thing is that you learn to cover your tracks.'

'My best advice? Never miss an opportunity to pass water...'

'Except...That.'

"I want something to inspire my workforce - but not too much to want the next pay grade!"

My, my, we're justs a little overprotective of our propriety knowledge, aren't we?

"I've had my eye on you for some time, Parker....just what is it you're supposed to do around here?"

"That's great that you're on 8 different social media sites, but how are you at bank reconciliations, accounts payable, and working?"

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

Trending wise.

'You're more than just a number to us, Hawkins, we see you as a real person...one with a poor work ethic and a tendency toward insubordination!'

The opinion poll ltd.

"Whoa, whoa, big guy with all your ‘meaning of life’ mumbo jumbo—I just want my kid to pick up her room."

'I have a B.A. in indifference, an M.A. in obstinacy and I'm currently working on my doctorate in defiance.'

'Next time she asks for your honest opinion, keep quiet.'

"Things must be worse than we thought - he's rationing the water and the biscuits."

"I learned a lot today, Dad. Did you know when your boss says you've done a great job...it's good not to act totally

'Any worldly advice?' 'Yep. Don't get up too quickly.'

"I became a boss because I was afraid to become an employee and get a boss like me!"