Workplace Wisdom Seeker Gifts

'Our core values statement is now official.'

"Effective leadership is more than just telling everybody to be like you!"

'It's OK, we all make mistakes. The important thing is that you learn to cover your tracks.'

All staff are equal but some are more equal than others!

Career advice from the boss

My, my, we're justs a little overprotective of our propriety knowledge, aren't we?

"Let me level with you. I am a lecherous, incompetent, alcoholic, overpaid, sexist senior executive. The company has put me in your way to test your countervailing potential."

'Next time she asks for your honest opinion, keep quiet.'

"I wish you would learn to follow your own instincts."

"If only I could think of a way harness all this laziness."

"I don't get it, Beatriz... I work harder than Joey, but he always gets praise and credit for stuff."

"I learned a lot today, Dad. Did you know when your boss says you've done a great job...it's good not to act totally

"I want something to inspire my workforce - but not too much to want the next pay grade!"

A title doesn't make you a leader.

"I became a boss because I was afraid to become an employee and get a boss like me!"

"Sorry, the grief counselor was fired along with you employees."

"Feel free to take notes."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

'You must heal yourself.'