Workplace Frolicer Gifts

'What have I told you about gambolling at work, Lambton?'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Chase me, chase me cows.

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'What's wrong now?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'Yes, can I help you?'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

National Boss Monument.

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

Another day in the Splenda mines

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

Concerned that she would be passed over for a promotion if management knew she was pregnant, Donna concealed the fact.

Cafe Burns.

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

InIn by-products.

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.