Work Place Gifts

'Congrats, you're promoted to the company's anti-stress specialist. If someone feels worked up and irritated. He can come and hit you.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Burning the midnight oil.

37 years in the same position.

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

Work Parfait

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Working hours.

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

Overworked in the office

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

Multi-tasking.

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

'These are job perks.'

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."