Work Place Gifts

'Congrats, you're promoted to the company's anti-stress specialist. If someone feels worked up and irritated. He can come and hit you.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Burning the midnight oil.

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

37 years in the same position.

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

Work Parfait

Overworked in the office

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

Working hours.

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

'What's wrong now?'

Multi-tasking.

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."