Workplaces Gifts

"Things have been rough since the merger."

"The meeting's over but it's so close to the end of the day. Let's just use our collective inertia and run out the clock."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'What's wrong now?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Yes, can I help you?'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

National Boss Monument.

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

HR - Helping Relationships

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'