Workplace Ergonomics Gifts

"I don't love the new standing desks."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'What's wrong now?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

Lumbar support animal

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Torn-Off Mouse.

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

Fact: The average person spends 4.3 hours per week looking for things that are misplaced, misfiled or mislabeled.

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'