Workplace Comfort Gifts

'I feel more secure surrounded by things.'

"Doug here monitors any subtle changes in the ergonomics."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

National Boss Monument.

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

Concerned that she would be passed over for a promotion if management knew she was pregnant, Donna concealed the fact.

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

InIn by-products.

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."