Workplace Comfort Gifts

'I feel more secure surrounded by things.'

"Doug here monitors any subtle changes in the ergonomics."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

InIn by-products.

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

Think Just Inside The Box.