Workplace Comfort Advisor Gifts

"Doug here monitors any subtle changes in the ergonomics."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'These are job perks.'

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

Standardisation: "I don't understand...it fitted us OK!"

Performance Management: "We decided to get rid of the stick and just use the carrots."

'Many of our employees are under a lot of pressure. This keeps them from getting the bends if they begin to unwind too quickly.' (Decompression chamber)

Susan finally becomes assertive with her boss...

'Good news! The boss called me in - I'm one of his people.'

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

Bureau of Missing Persons, "He works flextime and we have direct deposit, so it took me a few months to notice he was gone."

'Of course, at first, there was some resentment but now the chaps seem to have accepted things graciously.'

Unhappy, Happy, and Well Being Consultant Theatre Masks.

'I hear they've named a new stress syndrome after me.'

"My sensitivity trainer says I have to say 'good morning.'"

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'You're right, Haskell, I should get more exercise. Tomorrow I'm turning your office into a gym.'

'… and I'm not sure what you're insinuating here Mrs. Collins, but we hired Ms. Tiffany here based on assets applicable to the job.'

'Now, that's more ergonomic...'

"On your application, it says you have narcolepsy. What is that?"

'I feel more secure surrounded by things.'

"Poor Chap,he's only been here a few days but the pressure of the job seems to have got to him already."

"This one is less distracting."

Women Have To Choose

"Hey sweetie, you're looking at the new VP of inclusion and diversity."

'Money won't make you happy, Waldron, so instead of a raise, I'm giving you prozac.'

"Healthy and happy workers are productive workers!"

'We've got a high staff fluctuation, that's why it's not worth furnishing the offices.'

'Who wants to help me improve morale?'

A really great place to work: 'Entitlement Inc'

'When he said he was going to promote staff health and fitness and encourage a little weight loss I thought he'd be giving us gym passes.'

'Jitters about the economy? I can safely say that is not a problem at our company!'