Workplace Decorum Devotee Gifts

'I told you never to Facebook, Bebo, Hotmail, Yahoo, MSN or phone me at work...'

"Gift"

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

Office computer: 'Thank you for not using me for personal business.'

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

"It's a full-blown empathy attack!. . . help me sneak him out of here before this thing spreads through the entire company!"

He was the kind of boss who evoked extreme emotions.

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

"Why can't you ever be serious?"

"They're slowly adapting to the open-office concept."

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."

Er! Exactly when was this 'dress for success' book you've been readng written?

'The scary part is, he's in charge of quality control.'

Lonely at the top, OK, but not looney.

"We find this chair keeps our employees better focused."

"I didn't mind the panel interview, but I got creeped out by the group hug at the end."

"Can I help you?"

'... Service your gas fire?... Certainly, I can not bother turning up this Tuesday morning, if that's convenient.'

Top Tips For Video Interviews

'If you sing 'If I Had a Hammer' one more time, I'm going to hit you with one.'

"I wonder if he realizes how belittling him wearing that thing around the office is."

"Miss Holder, in the future, please refrain from using hearts in the place of dots."

Edward Cranston, four-letter general.

"And remember, the phone goes to the left of the entree fork."

New curate discussing the pulpit with his paritioners

"At least try to eat your soup in time with the music."

Pleasant!

'Ever since he was lionized by the media, he's been impossible to work with!'

Sawmill workers league

Did you take the last cup and not make another pot?

'I know how you can kill time, Fenwick. Try working it to death.'

Hey, where are your manners? The squirrel pelt goes on your lap!

'...and you're the reason power ties have lost their cachet!'

Tuesday Afternoon at the Osaka No-Tell Motel