Office Decorum Gifts

"Gift"

Er! Exactly when was this 'dress for success' book you've been readng written?

'...and you're the reason power ties have lost their cachet!'

"Miss Holder, in the future, please refrain from using hearts in the place of dots."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

21st century water cooler conversations.

Boss's Desk Says No!

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

That shows business confidence.

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

The best financial decision I ever made.

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

"At this office no two days are different."

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

'These are job perks.'

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."