Military Decorum Fan Gifts

Edward Cranston, four-letter general.

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

'This one is for keeping all the other ones so neatly arranged.'

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

Men talking about the boots of the period

'Hamster Swat Team.'

"Bad news Darling, I'm going to be posted abroad"

'When you ordered the troops to charge, sire, they went into town and ran up a huge bar tab.'

'Is your security clearance top sacred?'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"Dear Mum, please stop sending me food parcels..."

The Trench-Sealer

“Sarge, could you please stop trying to hold my hand!”

Really big bang

"Boots on the ground are one thing. Boots on my table quite another."

'General practitoner'

"Is something funny, soldier?"

"It varies, but offhand I'd say around 750 'bang-bangs' equal one 'boom'."

Cat tipping a fish out of a bird box

Trump's Big Parade

The changing of the guard.

'You do realise we are going to have to kill you!'

'It was the only white thing I had.'

'By the way, what are we in line for?'

Billards.

Repurposed Porpise: US Navy

"Then it's agreed. I'll send you a lieutenant in exchange for a clerk typist and a staff sergeant."

I'm glad I'm wearing boxers!

"I can't help you if you don't let your guard down."

'Craig Venter is positive, sir. You take an empty cell, fill with Euro soccer hooligan DVD, multiply and defeat the Taliban!'

Army PR: 'Okay,stand to attention men! Here comes the Brigadeer!'

"Duty calling on line two, sir."