Workplace Affairs Gifts

'I don't get the money I'm worth!'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Others will fight for you

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'These are job perks.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

National Boss Monument.

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

Concerned that she would be passed over for a promotion if management knew she was pregnant, Donna concealed the fact.

InIn by-products.

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'