Workplace Relations Gifts

"I've been hearing some disturbing comments about you, Parker, some of your employees think you're a nice guy!"

'Stop blaming yourself...I've already done that for you!'

"No, I didn't read a scary book! I just read management's latest contract proposal."

If you should be in this meeting, but are reading this instead - you're fired!

Angry man is beaten down by boss.

'What's the point getting in on time if there's nobody to appreciate it?'

"Johnson suggests the same thing every month...that we give him more money."

'A good boss knows his workers by their names. Look, there are 'Hey Dude', 'Yo Man' and 'Mack' followed by 'Sweetheart' and 'Eh buddy'.'

'You know I really thought we'd seen the last of you.'

'I don't care where your union sympathies lie...everyone here gets a plain mug.'

"Ah, Miss Frimley! It must be salary review time again!"

'I hate my line manager!'

"Can I help you?"

'No raise, but we can make your desk and chair one-inch taller.'

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

"At this time of year I think it's important to reach out to those in crisis."

'Put it in writing.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'What's wrong now?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"Keep your money, sir. I'm on strike!"

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'Yes, can I help you?'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."