Workplace Advocate Gifts

'And your workplace - would you describe it as toxic?'

'I want to thank all employees, except my personal assistant, who has a thankless job.'

Staff Cuts - "Why me and not you?"

"But this is what sexual harassment has cost us."

Susan finally becomes assertive with her boss...

Man to new female employ "...As for sexism, that's not something you'll have to worry your pretty little head about"

'And finally before I can permit you to shop in this store, have you ever raised your voice to a member of staff on any prvious occasion ?'

"I'm not using the bacon slicer until I've had two weeks in Lanzarote!"

"The raise I'm asking for isn't just about me. It's about shrinking the income gap."

'Little touches can make a big difference at the workplace. I finally told him to keep his hands to himself.'

'I see you've finally made a name for yourself.'

"Just remember, sir, your stocks are printed by a union printer."

Motivation to work

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

'Sex discrimination? What are you talking about?'

'Here are some bonus checks. Distribute them unfairly.'

'He moved the party from the Grand Hotel to Denny's, and our Christmas bonuses are staple removers with our names on them.'

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

A case of runaway forklift Doctor. Do we offer him any compensation?

'Many of our employees are under a lot of pressure. This keeps them from getting the bends if they begin to unwind too quickly.' (Decompression chamber)

First Aid Box

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

'I hear they've named a new stress syndrome after me.'

"My sensitivity trainer says I have to say 'good morning.'"

Union organizer in a hostile workplace. . .

"She's always like this at this time of the month!"

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

"...And now step 2 disconnect power before plugging in..."

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

"Boss, I'm more than just a cashier and mopper-upper guy."

'You're right, Haskell, I should get more exercise. Tomorrow I'm turning your office into a gym.'

'Now, that's more ergonomic...'

"On your application, it says you have narcolepsy. What is that?"