Employment Advocacy Gifts

"I don't want severance pay but I'm growing tired of sufferance pay."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

Motivation to work

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

'Sex discrimination? What are you talking about?'

'Here are some bonus checks. Distribute them unfairly.'

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

Susan finally becomes assertive with her boss...

"She's always like this at this time of the month!"

Union organizer in a hostile workplace. . .

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

'The Human Right Act bans any cruel of unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite out ENTIRE staff care policy!'

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- does it have portable benefits?'

'We've been given three months notice backdated twelve weeks.'

'HR fired me because of an 'unstable job demand'. When I demanded a decent wage, they said I was unstable.'

Replaced by a Robot...

"Employees bound to their employer by desperation and fear of unemployment. Now THAT'S my idea of a union!"

"The raise I'm asking for isn't just about me. It's about shrinking the income gap."

'. . . but I didn't belong to the union, so a scab stole my job!!'

"Excuse me, sir. Could I please have a word about the motivational posters?"

I'm his lawyer, here to defend inaccuracies in his resume.

"Armstrong, I've worked here for a long time and I think I deserve a raise. How about it?"

'We are an equal opportunity employer; but you're really pushing it.'

"...as far as most of us are concerned you're just one of the chaps!"

"Jobs, jobs, jobs."

"Let's compromise, you forget about a pay rise and I'll forget about a pay cut."

'You can't sack me just because I'm totally useless. That's discrimination against totally useless people.'

'I want to thank all employees, except my personal assistant, who has a thankless job.'

Man to new female employ "...As for sexism, that's not something you'll have to worry your pretty little head about"