Office Affairs Gifts

'You are a credit to the human race, Yardsley. Unfortunately, you're a liability to this firm.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'That's our mission statement.'

In basket-case.

Copycats

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'