Office Affairs Pillows

'You are a credit to the human race, Yardsley. Unfortunately, you're a liability to this firm.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

In basket-case.

'That's our mission statement.'

Copycats

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."