Office Administration Pillows

'Besides running office pools, taking up office collections and being the office party coordinator, do you have any other work experience?'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"They don't pull their punches here, do they."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'