Office Administration Gifts

'Besides running office pools, taking up office collections and being the office party coordinator, do you have any other work experience?'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"They don't pull their punches here, do they."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Where your mind & battle are los

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"My email is down... talk to me."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"