Working Wisdom Gifts

'Yes, I know your boss can't see me right now. That's why I'm here.'

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Oh, crap.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"Just go with the workflow."

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

"Effective leadership is more than just telling everybody to be like you!"

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

"Let me level with you. I am a lecherous, incompetent, alcoholic, overpaid, sexist senior executive. The company has put me in your way to test your countervailing potential."

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

Career advice from the boss

'I really don't care about your work/life balance.'

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

"I thought I'd be lonely at the top."

The Meaning of Life

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

"Like my old man used to say: 'No news is bad news not yet undelivered.'"

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

'It's OK, we all make mistakes. The important thing is that you learn to cover your tracks.'

"You want self-motivation? Look! I have my own carrot and stick!"

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

"More aphorisms, please!"

'Never, NEVER sneeze while you're levitating.'

'I want someone who is smart, cunning and ruthless, but also someone who is too dumb to try for my job.'

My, my, we're justs a little overprotective of our propriety knowledge, aren't we?

A wise man marvels at the commonplace.