Wisdom Gifts

'Then, once you discover what it is you are searching for, just type it into the search engine.'

Birds: in hand - $1.50, in bush - $.75, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

'The wisdom of life is to grow older in a warm climate.'

'I'm getting older? What do you mean by that?...I want a second opinion!'

A good speech is always shorter than you audience's attention span.

'The truth is inside of you.'

'Life is an adventure son, so don't get bogged down with the paperwork. Unless, of course, you go into accounting. In which case, forget the whole adventure thing.'

Fountain of Youth and Fountain of Smart.

"Papi! Papi! I figured it out! I know exactly what I'm gonna be when I grow up!"

W M. Beemers Adages

"Are you too old to remember all the advice you tried to give me when I was too young to care?"

'The best revenge is outliving your enemies. I just wish I could remember who they were!'

'It's a shame it took me so long to learn how to just enjoy being p**sed-off.'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Sorry, Tom, but when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail."

"The new year will bring more of the same... only different."

"More aphorisms, please!"

"Ignore everyone."

Guru - Truth or 'Do your own Research.'

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

Smart people learn from experience - other peoples'.

Drop outs are unidentified failing objects.

'Granted, it may be a half truth, but it's got all the flavor of a full one, with only half the calories!'

Gurus wise words on lost socks

A wife loves a double chin on hubby's ex-girlfriends.

Life begins at forty? - That's when my arthritis kicked in.

'I know, but I still hate Mondays.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Be careful what you wish for! I once wished for whiskey and women and guess what I got - Hepatic cirrhosis and syphilis!'

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

"But will they cover the spread?"

A panhandler with a sign that reads "Sadder but no wiser".

"If this works, I'll pass the results on to young people."

Help, I'm suck in a fortune cookie factory.

"Never lend money to anyone over 90."