Working Conditions Gifts

'It's like working a non-union job. You run around in circles and never get anywhere.'

"This is a tough place to work. Pass the pepper spray."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

37 years in the same position.

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

Overworked in the office

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Working hours.

'What's wrong now?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'These are job perks.'

Time for More Paperwork

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

Office slaves.

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

Motivation to work

City Boy.

'I keep very close touch with the office in case things are running too smoothly without me.'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

Late/Too Late.