Working At A Funeral Home Gifts

"I'm just not convinced it's appropriate for a funeral home."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Joint Ventures!

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

'Wasn't there three of you guys when we started?'

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

"Mt. Joe Cemetary?"

Bug Funerals

'Grave rage Vicar, we get a lot of it now.'

"It's nice, but how do you adjust the sleep number?''

'Shady Acres Nursing Home - Stockbroker on duty in case social security is privatized.'

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

"Time to knock off for lunch?"

". . . ashes to ashes, dust to dust, a handful of ground coriander, the zest of a lemon. . ."

Dog Park and Pet Funeral Home.

Gravedigger

The final stage of Terminal Political Correctness.

'To summarise the tariffs, sympathy is £19/day, empathy £27 and obsequy £34.'

'We've been invited to a black tie do - your mother has died, dear.'

"She looks so natural, although I prefer cremation."

Ignitas

'Well,it's been real nice chatting with you Ron,and should you ever fancy a guided tour throughout the City Morgue,here's my card...' (a morgue worker handing over a 'toe tag').

Undertakers' supermarket.

"We were out of embalming fluid so we stuffed your wife with wild rice."

"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"

"We're about to go live. Prepare to mourn in 10. . . 9. . . 8. . ."

Funeral Directors signs say 'Sale - Shop till you drop!'

"He had himself pierced once too often."

"Last Christmas."

Undertakers Pole