Working At A Funeral Home Gifts

"I'm just not convinced it's appropriate for a funeral home."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Joint Ventures!

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

'Wasn't there three of you guys when we started?'

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

"It's nice, but how do you adjust the sleep number?''

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

'Grave rage Vicar, we get a lot of it now.'

"Mt. Joe Cemetary?"

Bug Funerals

'Shady Acres Nursing Home - Stockbroker on duty in case social security is privatized.'

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

"Time to knock off for lunch?"

Dog Park and Pet Funeral Home.

". . . ashes to ashes, dust to dust, a handful of ground coriander, the zest of a lemon. . ."

Gravedigger

"She looks so natural, although I prefer cremation."

Ignitas

"We were out of embalming fluid so we stuffed your wife with wild rice."

The final stage of Terminal Political Correctness.

'To summarise the tariffs, sympathy is £19/day, empathy £27 and obsequy £34.'

'We've been invited to a black tie do - your mother has died, dear.'

'Well,it's been real nice chatting with you Ron,and should you ever fancy a guided tour throughout the City Morgue,here's my card...' (a morgue worker handing over a 'toe tag').

Undertakers' supermarket.

"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"

"We're about to go live. Prepare to mourn in 10. . . 9. . . 8. . ."

Funeral Directors signs say 'Sale - Shop till you drop!'

'Someday, someone else will mow this lawn.'

"Last Christmas."

Undertakers Pole