Career Change To Funeral Services Gifts

Funeral Home: Gone to a better place ? Back in one hour.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

"I used to be a veterinarian."

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

"It's nice, but how do you adjust the sleep number?''

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

Bug Funerals

Dog Park and Pet Funeral Home.

'Mom, Dad. . . remember that day you sent me to law school and I got lost?'

". . . ashes to ashes, dust to dust, a handful of ground coriander, the zest of a lemon. . ."

Gravedigger

"She looks so natural, although I prefer cremation."

'Benny wanted a closed casket service...but, since you traveled so far to be here...I can give you a quick peek for ten dollars.'

'While we didn't see Bill Brewster here in his lifetime, it's good to see him here in death. Uh, let me rephrase that.'

The final stage of Terminal Political Correctness.

"We were out of embalming fluid so we stuffed your wife with wild rice."

At Salvador Dali's funeral,

Undertakers' supermarket.

"We're about to go live. Prepare to mourn in 10. . . 9. . . 8. . ."

Funeral Directors signs say 'Sale - Shop till you drop!'

Doorman with Angel Wings

"He had himself pierced once too often."

Undertakers Pole

'Yeah, I've been lucky. My business is pretty darned recession-proof.'

"Morning, Father. I'm the funeral director."

"I'm just not sure that the market is ready for 'fun sized' Coffins."

"This is your first burial at sea, isn't it!"

Undertaker awards.

'Can I interest you in our frequent shopper discount card?'

Checkout.