Career Change To Funeral Services Gifts

Funeral Home: Gone to a better place ? Back in one hour.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

"I used to be a veterinarian."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

Bug Funerals

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

"It's nice, but how do you adjust the sleep number?''

Dog Park and Pet Funeral Home.

'Mom, Dad. . . remember that day you sent me to law school and I got lost?'

". . . ashes to ashes, dust to dust, a handful of ground coriander, the zest of a lemon. . ."

Gravedigger

'While we didn't see Bill Brewster here in his lifetime, it's good to see him here in death. Uh, let me rephrase that.'

'Benny wanted a closed casket service...but, since you traveled so far to be here...I can give you a quick peek for ten dollars.'

"We were out of embalming fluid so we stuffed your wife with wild rice."

Undertakers' supermarket.

The final stage of Terminal Political Correctness.

"She looks so natural, although I prefer cremation."

"We're about to go live. Prepare to mourn in 10. . . 9. . . 8. . ."

Funeral Directors signs say 'Sale - Shop till you drop!'

"He had himself pierced once too often."

Doorman with Angel Wings

Undertakers Pole

'Can I go before you?'

Undertaker awards.

"This is your first burial at sea, isn't it!"

"I'm just not sure that the market is ready for 'fun sized' Coffins."

"Morning, Father. I'm the funeral director."

'I don't care if you were in the wine auction business, before coming here - they're coffins, not original wooden cases.'