Workforce Worrier Gifts

'You are correct...we can't make you retire....'

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

Nervous Oral Testing

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"Remember unpaid interns are a renewable resource."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

"What do you mean 'no way'?"

Concern Chart

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

Expensive health care

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

'He heard the question, Reverend. He's sleeping on it.'

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

The Circle.

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

'Doc - this isn't going to cost me a lot - is it?'

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

"Your disgust over ballooning healthcare costs is just a natural part of the aging process."

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

'Panic over...it's not mumps just high blood pressure.'

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'