Workforce Worrier Gifts

'You are correct...we can't make you retire....'

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

Nervous Oral Testing

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"Remember unpaid interns are a renewable resource."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

Concern Chart

"What do you mean 'no way'?"

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

Expensive health care

'He heard the question, Reverend. He's sleeping on it.'

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

The Circle.

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

'Doc - this isn't going to cost me a lot - is it?'

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

'Panic over...it's not mumps just high blood pressure.'

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!