Workaholic's Humor Gifts

"Sounds like you've got a great vacation planned...with plenty of down-time for the conference calls I'm planning."

"It's my in-tray!"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

Man running in a hamster wheel

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

'When I took this job, I had no idea how much it would cut into my quality, family texting time.'

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

Computer monitor for a head.

'I didn't come in to hear that I'm burning the candle at both ends. I came for more wax.'

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'Dear, you know how I hate it when you bring your work home.'

Sisyphus Gets a Desk Job.

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

Executive Asks Death To Wait

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

"That can't be right. How'd you work 15 hours in on day?"

"We're looking for a workaholic with another job that'll provide the pension and health benefits we don't provide."

'We got you a bigger desk. With all the work we'll be dumping on you, you'll be needing it.'

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

Desk trays: The Good - The Bad - The Ugly

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'