Workaholic Joke Lover Gifts

'Once again you have exceeded my expectations.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

Businessman: 'We're like one big family here, because of all the nepotism.'

'It's settled then. Your people will meet with my people if they ever get me any people.'

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'We're very proud of you, Jenkins. Keep up the good work.'

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

"According to your brain scan, you just don't want to go back to work."

"We're looking for a workaholic with another job that'll provide the pension and health benefits we don't provide."

'Here's your workplace. You will find out company is not big on CCTV cameras or punch clocks.'

Two doctors holding hands

Death Boss

Phil, I'm just too depleted to function. I need to take the afternoon off and recharge my batteries.

'Our goal is for you to successfully transition to your new job before retirement age.'

"Sounds like you've got a great vacation planned...with plenty of down-time for the conference calls I'm planning."

'So this is the company's new mission statement.'

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

"Ziegler, I'm transferring you out of the energy commission!"

'Are these billable hours?'

"Don't think of it as being laid off, think of it as a cure for your workaholicism."

'Miss Barnes, cancel my appointments. If I start swimming now, I can be back in the office in a few weeks.'

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

"I have had three work-related heart attacks, witch shows you that I care about my job."

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

'This new 4570mhz system with super high-speed dsl internet connection will allow you to work 50% harder and I'll be able to keep in touch with you from my yacht.'

'Before I show you where you'll be working, let me just say that some companies use money as an incentive. I use Vito here.'

"If you work real hard and are willing to put in the hours, the sky's the limit."

"We will of course keep you fully uninformed."

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

'I solved the union problem. I made everyone management!'

"Well yes, you're a worker, but I think we can both agree that you're not a hard worker now, can't we?"

'The bad news, Pomeroy, is tht we're giving your job to your secretary -- the good news is that she wants you to stay on as her secretary!'

"A few of the staff are still a little unsure of their roles in the company...so here's a quick recap."