Workaholic Satire Enthusiast Gifts

"No one showed up. Everyone is working."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"It's okay to be ambitious but do you dare to pee on my tree, Jackson!"

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

Whack-a-mole CEO.

"Progress is going around in the same circle...but faster."

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

Up-to-date Career-Specific Romance Novels

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'It could be worse. Imagine what it'd be like if we hadn't gone to that team building session last week.'

'Stevens, get in here. I need a few minutes with the left side of your brain.'

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

"We're looking for a workaholic with another job that'll provide the pension and health benefits we don't provide."

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

"For God's sake, just split the last donut!"

"Our medical benefits are quite limited, basically we send you a memo telling you to take more exercise."

"Of course I believe in diversity. Harlan, here, is an endangered species."

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

'Miss Chambers, requisition me some more clout.'

Death Boss

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'