Workaholic Satire Lover Gifts

'Ugh! Can you stop thinking about work for 5 minutes?!'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"It's okay to be ambitious but do you dare to pee on my tree, Jackson!"

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

Whack-a-mole CEO.

"Progress is going around in the same circle...but faster."

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

'It could be worse. Imagine what it'd be like if we hadn't gone to that team building session last week.'

'Stevens, get in here. I need a few minutes with the left side of your brain.'

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

"We're looking for a workaholic with another job that'll provide the pension and health benefits we don't provide."

"Our medical benefits are quite limited, basically we send you a memo telling you to take more exercise."

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

"For God's sake, just split the last donut!"

Death Boss

'Miss Chambers, requisition me some more clout.'

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

"Of course I believe in diversity. Harlan, here, is an endangered species."

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

'Once again you have exceeded my expectations.'