Workaholic's Comic Relief Gifts

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

Man running in a hamster wheel

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

'When I took this job, I had no idea how much it would cut into my quality, family texting time.'

Computer monitor for a head.

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

'I didn't come in to hear that I'm burning the candle at both ends. I came for more wax.'

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

"I need to clone myself."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

Man on beach blowing up an inflatable office.

Sisyphus Gets a Desk Job.

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

"We're looking for a workaholic with another job that'll provide the pension and health benefits we don't provide."

"That can't be right. How'd you work 15 hours in on day?"

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

'We got you a bigger desk. With all the work we'll be dumping on you, you'll be needing it.'

Desk trays: The Good - The Bad - The Ugly

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

Death Boss