Work Wear Warrior Gifts

"Whoa! Easy on my uniform shirt. That comes out of my pay check."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

37 years in the same position.

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"Morning, all!"

Low-Energy Drinks

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

What My Day Feels Like

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Laptop Dancing.