Work Life Analyst Gifts

"Relax, Henshaw, you're not being fired... we simply want you to work from home for now money."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Crap from the future.

My brilliant career

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

"Next on the agenda: How can we crush workers' spirit, while appearing to care?"

Modern Life Blues

"It's time for your performance review where I damn you with faint praise."

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"It's late. I am not getting into another heated discussion with you."

'I'll take that as a screwed up ball of paper bouncing off my head then?'

Corporate Scapegoat of the Month (Poster hanging on company hallway)

'The salary isn't much, but the expense account to entertain the boss, ohh-la-la!'

Out Box

"Very funny."

'We won't publish your book 'The Life of a mayfly: An Autobiography' because it's only a page long!'

'This new 'mentoring' policy is a wonderful idea...It gives staff the chances to take on significant extra responsibilities in relation to staff support and supervision.'

Above Reproach.

"Thanks Mum, but I prefer to use twitter to enlarge the microcosms of daily life."

'Not in here, stupid - I don't need to!'

Two ATMs sit side by side; one is labeled "Cash" while the other is labeled "Power".

"Honey, I'm home."

"It's the boss's son, what can I do about it?"

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

Mitch learned beneath his conscious thoughts, he felt small,inadequate,desperately in need of strength,competence, power.

"I had a hell a time choosing which wine went with your unrealistic expectation of me."

Street sign: 'Life gets even more complicated here to corner.'

"He looks so natural."

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

The Miracle Worker

"Remind me, Simpkins. Did I fire you or not?"

Live to work or work to live?

"Luckily, our retirement funds are entirely in double lattes."