Work-life Commentators Gifts

My brilliant career

"Progress is going around in the same circle...but faster."

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"Bill, I do believe you've written the great American memo."

"Would you like to hear about our retirement plan?"

'You said you wanted more responsibility, so I'm making you responsible for everything that goes wrong.'

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?'

''Benefit of the doubt' was our only benefit and now, the company has sent it offshore.'

"We added it just for the millenials."

I'd like to replace him with a computer, but we can't find out what he does.

'All we want is to be loved while making obscene profits.'

"We don't have a gym, but the boss keeps you on your toes."

A man on a desert island has an inbox and outbox both filled with sand.

'Will sublet 5pm-9am & weekends.'

"You've got to eat less because of your small wage? Well, that's our company health care plan!"

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice, Lord Mayor of London.

Taylor, I've decided to sack you. I hope this doesn't affect our marriage in any way.

'Of course it's not your fault, Smedley, but someone has to accept the responsibility.'

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

'A ceiling? All this time I thought it was a floor.'

'We can always use an extra hand in accounting.'

"The computer in the main office says you need to be fired but it didn't say why."

Live to work or work to live?

"Sir, he left a suicide deck."

You're getting that office with windows you've always wanted - you'll be working from your car in the parking lot with a laptop.

'We've been wondering about this 'rat race' you go to everyday...'

"What do you think of the new cubicles?"

'Norton, you'll never be a great success until you get a smaller cellphone and a bigger automobile.'

"I didn't live through a global pandemic just so I could group hug again!"

"This will be your office. We had to put bars on the windows, because the last 3 employees escaped."

"My father told me if I just do what I love I'll never work a day in my life. I've worked every day of my life."

"The position you've applied for does employ some osmosis."

'Maybe we are micro-managing a bit too much.'

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