Office Life Commentator Gifts

'We can always use an extra hand in accounting.'

'Can you do me in back?'

"I didn't live through a global pandemic just so I could group hug again!"

"This will be your office. We had to put bars on the windows, because the last 3 employees escaped."

"We don't have a gym, but the boss keeps you on your toes."

"The position you've applied for does employ some osmosis."

"Bill, I do believe you've written the great American memo."

'I didn't know Tomkins was leaving us!'

'Do you have time for a quick meeting?'

"Sir, he left a suicide deck."

Management pushing on door marked pull.

Corporate Punishment.

De Ja Vu Inc.

'All we want is to be loved while making obscene profits.'

I'd like to replace him with a computer, but we can't find out what he does.

"You are now unsubscribed. You will receive a weekly email confirming your unsubscription."

"The computer in the main office says you need to be fired but it didn't say why."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

In basket-case.

'That's our mission statement.'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'