Workplace Culture Commentator Gifts

"We added it just for the millenials."

''Benefit of the doubt' was our only benefit and now, the company has sent it offshore.'

'Norton, you'll never be a great success until you get a smaller cellphone and a bigger automobile.'

"You've got to eat less because of your small wage? Well, that's our company health care plan!"

"Staff support"

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'I give this one about three months...'

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'We're looking for impartial people who think the way we do.'

"So how did the rest of the team respond to your promotion?"

"And this is our new HR officer in charge of morale..."

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

-Great little number cruncher! -But lousy table manners.

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

'Actually, I was hoping for a more inspiring mission statement.'

'You said you wanted more responsibility, so I'm making you responsible for everything that goes wrong.'

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

'Great visual support.'

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"I absolutely refuse to be surrounded by yes men, do I make myself perfectly clear?"

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

"We need to make some cuts. We’ll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."