Wordsmith At Sea T-Shirts

'Hey Mum, what does 'Thirsty' mean?'

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Reading my Critics

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

"Swing me with your words."

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

Books vs mobile phones

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

Rudyard Kipling

Emily Dickinson

Best Seller 'Screw You'. Kiss the Author's Ass 2 PM.

Major Poets, Minor Poets, Free Agents.

Monk Mistake

"Loads of top US writers have whole teams to support them

"You're a gifted writer, although at times you're just too precious."

"The quality of the writing is an embarrassment, it has no style, no fluency, no soul!"

"#*@!% #*@!% #*@!%"

'Alphabet soup? -- oh, an intellectual, eh?'

Cliche Workshop, "Who wants to get the ball rolling?"

English major will work for food.

Rider's Block: Well I'll be. I've completely forgotten how to start this thing.

Military Intelligence - Cross word puzzle instead of medal ribbons.

The Fledging Author Struggles To Find His Voice. . .

'Camilo José Cela'

When English Majors have relationship problems.