Wordsmith On Vacay T-Shirts

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Torturing the English Language

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Meet The Author"

"She's been so creative lately."

First Novels.

Edgar Allen Poe

"Do me next."

Reading my Critics

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Cut Price

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

Backfire

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

What's normal?

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'