Wordsmith In Chaos T-Shirts

'When I was on amphetamines in my wild youth, I could write a 25 page paper in an hour on a manual typewriter, but not in any known language.'

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Reading my Critics

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

Best Seller

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

"Swing me with your words."

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

Accountant Manqué

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

Books vs mobile phones

A Poet

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

"I just got a huge advance for my first novel. It's about a writer who gets a huge advance for his first novel."

Rudyard Kipling

"I'm the writer-in-residence."

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

Tom Stoppard

He's very disciplined about his writing, three hours staring at a blank screen every morning and five in the afternoon.

Art Gecko.

Emily Dickinson

Writer's Block Next 10 Miles

Monk Mistake

Major Poets, Minor Poets, Free Agents.

"Loads of top US writers have whole teams to support them

Best Seller 'Screw You'. Kiss the Author's Ass 2 PM.

'When I said we should read together I meant separate books.'

"The quality of the writing is an embarrassment, it has no style, no fluency, no soul!"

Writing buddies